I wake up most mornings knowing that I have to write. It’s like waking up with the understanding that if you don’t crawl out of bed, you’ll eventually piss in it. And while I’ve still got the presence of mind to empty my bladder, I’ll sit in front of the computer, in the dim yellow light of an energy-saving bulb, and play video games.
It’s been this way for a long time now. The reason I’m so deeply troubled by the urge to write is that once, not so long ago, I would wake and put pen to paper first thing every morning. I’d do that for months, until I’d written a book. Then there’d be a layoff while I allowed whatever internal batteries responsible for long-form writing to recharge, then I’d do it again. But like any rechargeable device, the period between charges got longer and longer until I reached a point where I felt like they’d exhausted completely.
Some say writing is a discipline every bit as demanding as cardiovascular training. A person must push themselves constantly, consistently, and at ever harder levels of difficulty to maintain a certain level of health. I’m not so sure this is the same with the wordsmithing, but then again I’ve never approached it that way. Perhaps it’s time for a re-evaluation of my methodology.
Really, really, really want to spend most of your free time developing a videogame.
Be enough of a polymath to be able to program, draw and animate sprites, and compose music.*
Spend 4+ years building your game. Possibly** fewer if you do it full time.
Make certain that, when you launch the game, it fills a market niche that’s been previously unaddressed by any other developers.***
Work tirelessly to foster goodwill in the community that springs up around your game.
* Alternatively, have a decent design and enough funds to purchase all the assets you need.\ ** Bear in mind that, in game development, the amount of time spent can directly translate into overall quality, which can translate into sales.\ *** See also: luck factor.
It’s not humanity’s stupidity but the willingness to display it that astounds me.
There are roughly 5 days left to work on the project. All that’s left is to fill in the blanks where the main content is supposed to be; confident that the system is working I’ll spend a few hours today piecing it together in Word, then drafting a production document (or possibly just pantsing it from the Word doc) and getting busy with the in-game modeling, writing, and audio. It should all come together as planned.
The sky feels old and tired this morning.
This morning, much to my regret, I asked for an extension to the project deadline. While the core concept is complete, much of the creative content remains in the pre-production stage. I spend a lot of the day in bed, paralyzed with stress and fear. I’m going to have to double down and work as hard as I can to complete this work, and I pray that publishing it will bring me some measure of relief. This is one of the toughest things I’ve ever done.
2016.03.01 – 2016.03.31